by Karl Perera
Are you a perfectionist?
When you achieve something do you take pride in it and feel good or do you tell yourself you could have done it better?
Do you laugh at your mistakes? Or do you take them very seriously and go over them in your head afterwards?
Can you ignore untidiness? Or must everything be in its place?
Can you leave a job half done? Or would this drive you mad?
If you answered yes to the second option in the above example then perhaps you are to some degree a perfectionist. We all are at times, the question is to what degree are you a perfectionist?
Perfectionism can cause a lot of problems if you let it.
What harm can perfectionism cause?
If you are a perfectionist this will cause many problems. Perfectionism can:
-cause you to have low self esteem
-stop you from being happy
-hurt your relationships
One by one let's take a look at the points above and you'll see why it is so important to stop being a perfectionist.
Perfectionism will prevent you from taking satisfaction from anything you achieve. A perfectionist believes that nothing he or she does is good enough because only perfection is acceptable. The trouble is perfection doesn't exist.
A perfectionist has low self esteem because he can't accept himself as he really is - imperfect.
Likewise, you cannot be happy if you cannot accept the world or your life as it is. You will constantly try to make everything perfect, which is impossible. Happiness depends on acceptance and joy in the present, with how things are now.
Overcoming perfectionism can improve self esteem and increase happiness. What about relationships?
Self esteem and happiness play their part in a good relationship. What's more, people in relationships need to help each other grow in self esteem and happiness. If one person in a relationship is a perfectionist they will demand perfection from the other.
Perfectionists create stress on themselves and on their friends or partners and are very demanding. Relationships need give and take and acceptance of one another's faults is a big part of that.
Overcoming perfectionism will reward you with better relationships so...
How can you overcome perfectionism?
Take a look around you and focus on the beauty in nature - it's not perfect but its wonderful nonetheless.
Instead of focusing on how people fail to reach your standards, ask yourself what did they do that you're grateful for?
Next time you expect something, try making your expectations more realistic.
Remind yourself how everyone thinks and sees things differently. Are you sure that your standards are so correct?
Try to look at the good things in any situation and you'll be surprised at how positive you can be.